Ouija

Keep Telling Yourself It's Just a Game.

For those of you who know me or read The Review, you know that I don't really like horror movies. Well, Ouija is a good example of why.

First off, the story itself is the most unoriginal thing ever. A group of friends whose friend just died after playing with a Ouija board by herself decide to investigate by using the very same board. And what happens? They start to die. How original.

The entire thing has a very Final Destination feel to it, with the ways in which characters die being foreshadowed earlier in the film. Except that in the FD series, you don't find yourself yawning at the deaths. And this movie only had one scene that had any blood in it.

Some movies make up for poor storytelling with good acting. I wish I could say that for this movie. All of the characters were extremely one dimensional. At no point within the film was I really connecting with any of them. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to see that Lin Shaye of Insidious fame made an appearance, albeit as a mental patient.

OK, not really sorry for the spoiler, but this is what I mean.

Another thing that I feel made Ouija so bad was the lack of attention to detail. *MINOR SPOILER* For example, at the beginning of the film, when the first friend hangs herself with a string of Christmas lights, there is no way that the lights would have been long enough for where they were plugged in for her to hang herself with a double-loop. Not only that, but they somehow manage to stay plugged in AND appear to be coming from the ceiling, instead of over the railing where they should be. *END SPOILER*

And then, throughout the rest of the movie, the lights are in the same place they started. Maybe put back by a grieving mother who skipped town pretty much as soon as her daughter was buried, or major oversight by the crew. I'll let you decide on that one.

And last but not least, the movie has NO rewatchability whatsoever. But maybe I should take that as a good thing. This is truly a one and done movie, though you could just save yourself the torture and skip it entirely. I won't tell if you won't. You won't miss out on much, I promise. In fact, I fell asleep halfway through and I didn't miss anything important.

Ouija manages to barely get a ½ star

Well, I will say this, as bad as Ouija is, it did manage to make me do something that I've never done before, and that is give a rating of less than 1 star. Ouija managed to get a ½ star, and that's only because the movie was only an hour and a half. Had it been any longer, I don't think I could have lived with giving it even that. My suggestion, don't bother seeing this movie, it's not worth the time. Sad too, considering that this movie is actually produced by Hasbro, Michael Bay (and yet, not a single explosion) and Jason Blum (who did the awesome Insidious movies).

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