Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


Can I get a "Ramen" from the congregation?!


Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today's fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mysterious and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM's devout followers, aka Pastafarians? Some say it's the assuring touch from the FSM's Noodly Appendage. Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in Pirate-Speak and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church's flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, and the fact that Pastafarian Heaven is way cooler: Does your Heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match ─ and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.
Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts ─ dispelling such malicious myths as Evolution("only a theory"), science ("only a lot of theories"), and whether we're really descended from (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with Pirates!).


If you hadn't already guessed, this is the (one of the) Bible(s) for us Pastafarians out there. Who out there is already thinking I'm crazy? OK, good, you can stop reading now. I'm kidding (about the stopping reading anyway), so don't go anywhere.

Not only is the Gospel a good religious yarn, it's a humorously good read in general too. It starts off  by explaining what Pastafarianism is and why it makes so much more sense than other religions. After the general explanation, there is a 'Condensed History of the World,' in which the Prophet Bobby Henderson tells about the origins of the Pastafarians and where they all went to. There is more of this in the Loose Canon (review coming in the future), which is more like that famous book from that other religion, the Bible.

A pretty compelling argument if you ask me
Throughout the book, there are other interesting tidbits, such as the correlation to the number of Pirates (His Chosen People) left in the world to the average global temperature. Also of note: Pastafarian Heaven includes a Beer Volcano (or other drink of your preference) and a Stripper Factory (and the strippers appear to your liking, e.g. female or male, depending on your taste). That sounds like a better description of Heaven than any other in my opinion.

With all the Pirates, Beer and Strippers in the book (referenced, of course), this book may not be appropriate for everyone, especially for small children or those who get offended easily. Everyone else, read it and enjoy all the propaganda and swag in the back of the book. For a special treat, read it on the most Holy of Pastafarian holidays, Friday, which happens once a week.

A near perfect 9/10 stars

The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a great book to read. It doesn't matter if you are Christian, Catholic, Buddhist or Jewish, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is accepting of all religions, so take a look at this awesome book. And hey, who knows, maybe reading it will make you fall in love with the 'flimsy moral standards' of Pastafarianism and convert (it could happen). If it does, or if you just want to find out more about the FSM, click on the button below to go to the Official Church of the FSM website. May you always be touched by His Noodly Appendage. R'Amen.

*Disclaimer: This was not meant to be an overly religious or offensive review. And no, I am not crazy for believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

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